Is Roy Hodgson a racist? It's a tough question.
I think we can, unequivocally, agree that he's not a comedian.
That may seem unfair. Perhaps he delivered his 'space-monkey' gag with such impeccable comic timing as to render the England dressing room a veritable cauldron of uncontrollable belly-laughter during his halftime team talk on Tuesday night. Still, his choice of joke was so abominably poor that I'd be willing to put my reputation (if I had one) on the line to suggest otherwise.
Indeed, it seems miraculous that anyone managed to stay awake long enough to be offended by the, erm, 'punch-line.' Whether or not you find the joke's content offensive is almost irrelevant. The joke's length, on the other hand, and its paucity of humour, is criminal.
The question of whether Roy's a racist, or not, is much more problematic. Partly because I don't know the bloke, thus I can only go off what I do know about him.
Based purely on his halftime wheeze, I'd probably say he's not a racist. I should probably come clean at this point, and admit that I wasn't there. Yet it seems fairly obvious, from what I've read, and from the reactions of numerous players who were privy to Hodgson playing the clown, that it was simply a catastrophically poor choice of rib-tickler, given that he ended up comparing, however innocently, a black man to a monkey.
Yet Roy has a certain amount of history when it comes to issues of racism, and it is when his quip is set in this context that things get a little more fuzzy.
After all, this is a man who chose to go and play professional football in the warm, white embrace of apartheid South Africa.
As I mentioned earlier, I'm not close to Roy, having never met him, even on a London Tube, but those that do know him well, almost to a man, speak of his being a thoroughly decent chap, whose biggest regret in sixty six years upon God's green earth is that very decision to nestle his head in that country's fervently, violently racist bosom, citing 'footballing reasons,' and blaming it on the folly of youth.
That's all well and good, I suppose. I don't doubt for a moment that Hodgson has wrung his hands many times during the intervening years. Yet I can't help but find the 'folly of youth' argument a little absurd.
Which is unusual, given that the 'folly of youth' defence is something we can all generally relate to with ease. After all, who amongst us didn't make a few wrong turns during our younger days?
Still, I can't for the life of me think of a reason, even as a lad in his mid-twenties, for doing that; for going there. No matter how drunk he might've been.
Imagine making such a 'mistake.' I mean, picture the scene; a sweaty Roy opens his eyes, groggily gets up from the bare floor, wiping stale vomit from his chin, his mangled mind a total blank from the night before.
"Urgh. Where the hell am I?" he wonders, retrieving his phone from his discarded-trouser pocket (I know there were no mobiles back then but, please, humour me).
And there it is. A text from his pal:
"LOOOOOOL!!!!! You were SO wasted last night mate!! Can't believe you ended up deciding to go and play your football for a hideous, barbaric, grotesquely racist regime the rest of the civilised sporting world has turned its back on!!! You daft prick!! LOOOOOOL!!!!"
Then, of course, there was his decision to pick John Terry ahead of Rio Ferdinand for the Euro 2012 finals, for the heinous crime of being the brother of a man who was (allegedly) racially abused by Terry in the full glare of the entire world. Or was it for 'footballing reasons' again? I forget.
Hodgson even went a step further, solemnly declaring his support for Mr Terry. "John, hopefully," said Roy, "will be freed as he was freed in a court of law, and will carry on playing for England."
Remember that?! Still hard to believe, isn't it? We can only assume Hodgson never saw that footage of the incident at Loftus Road, because anyone that did was so horrified by what they'd witnessed, they never wanted to see John Terry in an England shirt (even a replica one) again. Unless, perhaps, they were, well...racist?
I'm not saying Roy Hodgson is racist. I'm not saying he isn't. He genuinely does come across as an affable, likeable fellow, and I'm pretty convinced his space-monkey joke was just a terrible misunderstanding.
Still, shouldn't a man of his age, experience, position and salary; a man whose biggest regret, so we're told, is relocating to South Africa during those awful times, albeit for 'footballing reasons,' be expected to show just a little more self awareness as to leave the monkey jokes for the gentleman's club after the match?
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